Monday, July 11, 2016

To whomever thinks they have lost hope

This is to whoever feels stuck in their chronic illness. When you feel like the medicine isn't working anymore. When you feel like you can't swallow anymore meds. When the doctors are giving you more meds to counteract the side effects of your other meds. When your esophagus cannot swallow another pill the size of a quarter!

This is for whoever can't sleep. For those that toss and turn and destroy their bed every night with the frustration of knowing it's pointless but hoping you can catch those 45 mins that you will cherish and hold more precious than your first born child. This is also for those who sleep all night but wake up feeling completely unrested. For those who feel the frustration of remembering falling asleep but not understanding why the 13 hours you slept didn't do squat. This is for those who wear the bags under their eyes like a fashion statement, those of you that know there is no way you can make them go away and it takes too much effort to cover them up anyways. This is for the people who plan their schedule around their naps. This is for the chronically ill that are the living zombies that you see in the movies, only the only time you want to feast on human flesh is when you hear people say how good they slept the previous night.

This is for those who are about to give up on their doctor, whether it's your first or you fifth. For those who can't take being told you are "crazy" or that you symptoms are "all in your head" anymore. For those that are ready to wring the necks of their health insurance companies. For the chronically ill that don't know where they are to turn to regarding medicine and doctors, who feel so lost and distrustful to any MD.

This is for those with mental health struggles, whether because you have been fighting for too long and the depression has hit you like a sack of bricks, or you are clinically diagnosed...

This is for those in extreme pain.

This is for anyone with any chronic illness, mental health issue, pain, sickness, exhaustion and/or frustration:

Keep going. You are loved. You are a fighter.

The only thing that is stronger than your fear, and your frustration is your hope. Do not ever lose that hope. Even if the only hope you can find is that your wifi is strong enough to play Netflix through your sleepless nights of binge watching, keep up that hope. Hope in something--in anything--gives one the desire to keep going, and to keep fighting.

Hope is the one thing nobody can take away from you, only you can choose to let it go. Hope is like that little flame inside you that keeps you going. So hope for a cure. Hope for a diagnosis. Hope for an understanding doctor. And if you have lost hope in all of those, hope you can get that 45 minute nap in. Hope for a reason to smile. Hope for a sympathetic friend to call you today.

And if all of these are things you have lost hope in, hope for a new day. Hope for the sun to come up, the next day. Find something to hope for and let that flame ignite into something bigger.

Hope for someone who won't judge you. Hope for someone who wants to help. Or just hope for an understanding family member to hug you today. Hope for your favorite tv show to come on again. Hope for the ability today to get up and walk around the block. Hope for the energy to shave your legs in the shower today. Find something to hope in and don't lose it.

-The Lyme Warrior