For people that know me, I love to play. I work at a Daycare center. So playing is my job, and I love that I get paid to do it. I also love basketball, and I am excited to assist in coaching at my old high school as a girls basketball coach. And I have been doing this BYU co-ed inter murals basketball team, and it has become very apparent that after my game the next few days I am more sick and wore down... and last night took the cake. I didn't feel like I had over done it during the game. I felt like I played decent, we won. But after I got home I was so tired! Then today I was so run down. Every single one of my muscles ached. My back hurt. My arms were stiff. I felt... I hate to say this but OLD! And I found that I wasn't able to stand up for long amounts of time. The kids wanted me to chase them around the play ground, and it wasn't a matter of not wanting too... but I couldn't! Now try explaining it to a 5 year old kid, this is how the conversation went:
Child: Sadie, will you be the zombie and chase us?
Me: I can't today dude, I'm sorry.
Child: But why?
Me: I'm sick.
Child: Then why are you here?
Me: Who is going to be your teacher if I'm not here?
Me: I am sick.
Child: Where are you sick?
Me: My head hurts, and all I want to do is sleep, and I ache.
Child: Let me feel your head... (places hand on my face)... You don't feel hot, you're not sick!
Me: Just because my head isn't hot doesn't meant I'm not sick!
Child: I don't hear you coughing either.
Me: I don't have a cough but my throat hurts.
Child: Well, just don't get me sick, if you really are sick.
It became very apparent today that I have exercise induced exhaustion due to Lyme. You see, I am now on 4 Antibiotics that are fighting with my body to kill the bacteria that has infected my brain, and wherever else it is in my body. Because of all of this my body is letting me know that I can't handle what I used to be able to do because it is bigger battles to fight.
|Example of Spirochetes (I hate those little guys).|
Also, when you exercise you sweat. Sweating is a good way to detox, and it means that you have increased your body temperature. Doing that also means you are killing off the Spirochetes (the type of bacteria that Lyme looks like), but if you kill off more than you can handle you end up having a Herxhimer Reaction. This is both good and bad, because it means you killed off a lot, but it also means that your body gets sick with all of the basically dead bacteria carcasses floating in your blood stream, causing Flu-like symptoms, and extreme tiredness, as well as a bunch of other things as well.
Because of all of this, I have had to come to this realization today, that I can't handle exercising like I used to. And until I get better I won't be playing full games of basketball without getting the flu the next day. This is hard for me. Not just because I am blessed with competitive juices, but also because I have all this pride that doesn't think "I'm sick" is a good excuse to skip out on fun things that I love. And also because I tell myself I can and I will. But then I regret it the next day, or days.
This is the hard part. And it comes down to me knowing my limits. I am learning them and they are way lower than they ever were and I hate that. My whole life, to relieve stress and frustrations I would play basketball. Even on the mission, when I was stressed out I would think "I just need to shoot." Obviously I couldn't do that, but we ran every morning. And now, when I am more frustrated and down and depressed than ever before, I can't release. I can't let myself release all the tension inside me. And it kills me! I don't have the energy or motivation to run around and play at work... how can I possibly go shoot and run?
Just one of my frustrations. And symptoms that have showed up to this party that I don't like hosting.